Thursday, October 21, 2010

Spoke too soon

It's kind of ironic. I posted our happy announcement about the pregnancy last Friday, October 15.
And on October 16, I started bleeding.

This isn't the kind of blog post I enjoy doing, but in order to avoid awkward conversations & having to repeat the story time & time again, I will post it here instead.

I have had a miscarriage.

I didn't think it would happen to me, since that kind of bad stuff only happens to other people, right? But the entire time I was pregnant, (the 8 days I knew about it), I felt like it was too good to be true, after trying for 7 months. I know, that's nothing compared to some other people, but for me, it was a long 7 months. I had a feeling something might go wrong with this one. I don't know why. I think I had that feeling with every pregnancy though. You always worry about everything being alright.

Anyway, Saturday and Sunday were hard days, with lots of tears, but now, almost a week later, I'm doing okay. I've accepted it. It sucks. But, I know there is another spirit waiting to come down & spend some time with our little family.

Some more details for posterity's sake: I hardly slept Saturday night because of the worrying. I sat on the computer & tried to get information about bleeding while pregnant. It actually is pretty common apparently. Some women bled for 3 days and then stopped, and the baby was fine. But I had a gut feeling that wasn't the case. I couldn't go to the doctor until Monday. I did talk to one on the phone on Sunday, and she gave me some advice. Monday they took my blood & the HCG hormone levels were at 10, which is normal if you're about 2 weeks along. (I was 5 weeks). They took my blood again on Wednesday, and the levels were at 5, which is what you're at when you're not pregnant.

So she said I just had an early miscarriage. She was very sweet and understanding. I had NO cramping, which seems odd to me, but a blessing I guess.

So there it is.

9 comments:

The Mom said...

Tia, I am so sorry.

Josh and Anne said...

:( Tia, I too know this feeling. I went through five just to have my two little ones. I know words won't make it better. But, I'm sure your little one in heaven is just so eager to come down that maybe s(he)just jumped down to soon. I'm glad you don't have too much physical pain. But, still if you need even just a dinner some ice cream let me know :D Otherwise, like I said before you and Kev are in our prayers.

Mike and Kaci said...

I'm sorry Tia. You both are in our prayers.

Jessica said...

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Your family is in our prayers.

Angie said...

I'm so sorry Tia. Thank you for sharing your experience. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take Care.

Mindy said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this, and I'm sad for you and your family. Get some rest and take care, you have so many people thinking of you and praying for you. You are such a cute little family, and if you have the feeling that there is another spirit waiting to come, then I don't doubt it will happen for you again. We love you all!

Kelmarie said...

You are brave to share this. I had a miscarriage 9 years ago at about 6 weeks. I went to the hospital and everything, but in retrospect, I realize that was unnecessary since it was so early. It's hard. I'm sorry you had to go through it. But you're right - there is a spirit waiting to be a Chapman!

Scott and Katie Ulrich Family said...

Tia and Kevin, we are SO sorry! We too have experienced one and they are definitely not an easy thing to go through. Your family is in our prayers. We are so glad that you are not in any physical pain. Emotionally it is difficult, but we hope you know of all the love and prayers in your behalf.

Edee Ulrich said...

My heart goes out to your little family. Glad to hear that you are feeling ok and so impressed by your faith! When I had mine, it was so hard beacause I didn't know anything about it since it is not a talked about subject very often. Glad you are so honest and kind to share your heartache. We will keep you all in our prayers. Your family is so sweet! Take Care.