Spoke too soon

It's kind of ironic. I posted our happy announcement about the pregnancy last Friday, October 15.
And on October 16, I started bleeding.

This isn't the kind of blog post I enjoy doing, but in order to avoid awkward conversations & having to repeat the story time & time again, I will post it here instead.

I have had a miscarriage.

I didn't think it would happen to me, since that kind of bad stuff only happens to other people, right? But the entire time I was pregnant, (the 8 days I knew about it), I felt like it was too good to be true, after trying for 7 months. I know, that's nothing compared to some other people, but for me, it was a long 7 months. I had a feeling something might go wrong with this one. I don't know why. I think I had that feeling with every pregnancy though. You always worry about everything being alright.

Anyway, Saturday and Sunday were hard days, with lots of tears, but now, almost a week later, I'm doing okay. I've accepted it. It sucks. But, I know there is another spirit waiting to come down & spend some time with our little family.

Some more details for posterity's sake: I hardly slept Saturday night because of the worrying. I sat on the computer & tried to get information about bleeding while pregnant. It actually is pretty common apparently. Some women bled for 3 days and then stopped, and the baby was fine. But I had a gut feeling that wasn't the case. I couldn't go to the doctor until Monday. I did talk to one on the phone on Sunday, and she gave me some advice. Monday they took my blood & the HCG hormone levels were at 10, which is normal if you're about 2 weeks along. (I was 5 weeks). They took my blood again on Wednesday, and the levels were at 5, which is what you're at when you're not pregnant.

So she said I just had an early miscarriage. She was very sweet and understanding. I had NO cramping, which seems odd to me, but a blessing I guess.

So there it is.